you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize