u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
