Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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