I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
