and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
