PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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