just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize