some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
