K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
