yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
