This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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