I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
