It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
