Porn is love you can see.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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