walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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