If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
