i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
