Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
