yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
