she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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