Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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