batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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