they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
