I wanna bring you to show and tell
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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