I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
