Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
