Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
