hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The power of my boobs compel you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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