i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
