ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
