He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
