I need help removing her.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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