Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
