So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
