I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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