I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
