and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
