We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
