After last night, I could never be a politician.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
