they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
dude. I can hear the air.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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