why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
