I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
