eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
