please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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