Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
