i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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