I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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