Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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