Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
