Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
