I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
